Wings
Some dedicated their entire lives to attaining it, while some passed away without ever tasting the sweetness of its allure…
For some, it was the reason for existence while some met their untimely demise in relentless pursuit of it.
It possesses an immense power, serving as a driving force that compels one to keep persisting, igniting motivation, instilling a profound sense of purpose to live— to thrive, to reach new heights, to accomplish, and to persist onward.
“It” has a name: “Success”:
A noun subjective to each individual, depending on the gender and the time we live in.
During ancient Jewish time, success for women was often tied to their child-bearing abilities, while being barren was viewed as a curse. Barrenness gave their husbands more than a “hall pass” to seek out other fertile women. In the case where the other fertile women successfully gave their husbands children, it constitutes a daily reminder of their “failure” to deliver children and to keep their husbands by their side. For men, their success was linked to their livelihood, their possessions, their role as the provider for their families, as well as the amount of children they fathered.
As time progressed, some men ventured out, discovering new lands and conquering nations. These ambitious men had their focus vested in acquiring land and wealth, adopting the view “the end justifies its means.” Historical records depict countless pages of victories of conquistadores plundering resources of indigenous people and seizing their lands, living out their motto “for God, for glory and for gold”. They were deemed successful in their own eyes while celebrated by their contemporaries.Their achievements were forever immortalized and their names encapsulated in the annals of time as heroes, ensuring their legacy for generations to come…
Nowadays, people have their names carved on pillars, “walls of fame” and some even have books written about them. Pretty girls showcasing their best selves on social media: their flawless skin, impeccable makeup, gorgeous outfits posed in an angle that accentuates their best features, hoarding thousands and millions of likes on each post. On top of that, they get the highest endorsement from prestigious brands, go for decadent meals at high-end restaurants, lavish get-aways and vacations— all expenses paid and sponsored. Men with status and wealth are worshiped by many, their names featured in the Top 50 list in Forbes magazine alongside their net worth which amount to millions and billions of dollars, photographed with beautiful women on their sides. They are the object of envy and admiration, an icon of aspiration and a symbol of high status and sophistication.
In this day and age, this is widely considered the very essence of success: unrestricted by financial constraints and embracing a life of abundant enjoyment. They are free from the worries and woes that cumber the normal citizens as they have unlimited access to every object of their desire— the world is their oyster. In other words, they embody the dreams of many in our society, living out the aspirations one yearn for, but could never realistically achieve in their lifetime.
I can’t help but wonder, when all is said and done, when they have achieved all that they could possibly attain, what’s next? Is this truly the hallmark of success?
“You have to grow your own wings. Never ever depend on men to succeed in life.”
Those were the words repeated to me by my mother from my earliest years— words which eventually formed my perspective on life. It was instilled in me at a young age that I should never rely on anyone (especially men) to fulfill my desires and aspirations. My mother, knowing that I am not a favored child, taught me the value of hard work and earning what I want through the means of my own effort. In the latter years of my life, she taught me that success should not be depended by any special privileges from status, or from good looks in my prime. The meaning of success is rooted in “how” I achieve it, and not so much on “what” I accomplish, a view which goes against the view of “successful” Spanish conquistadores. The notion of independence became an essential part of my worldview, instilling in me the belief that I must acquire skills and sharpen my talents as means of my own survival.
She learned those lessons through the harsh realities of life. Even after she was married to my father, life did not become easier. On the contrary, she had to live under the same roof with my grandmother who was often unkind towards her. Isolated from her own family, having just a high school education, she often faced disdain from my father’s side of the family, who held esteemed positions in their company and attained success in tech companies abroad. The same goes for my Dad: he decided to join the workforce after highschool so that he could support his siblings through their higher education, a sacrifice forgotten with the passage of time. Both my parents were deemed failures, even by their own families and peers.
Were they, though?
Through their hard work and sacrifice, through rain and shine, through tumultuous thunderstorms in my family drama that led to the loss of our family home, my father persevered and eventually earned his degree in public health through sheer hard work and sacrifice. Likewise, my mum forged her own path, eventually owning a coffee shop business of her own. Above all, they were successful parents in dedicating their lives to four of their children with all that they had. They ensured that we are well-nourished, have nice clothes on our backs, opportunities to excel by tirelessly sending us to piano lessons and numerous prestigious tuition classes.
Alas, all their hard work was not in vain. I went to law school, and my siblings were successful in their engineering careers. In other words, we’ve made it in life.
In my eyes, Mum is the most successful woman ever lived. Despite enduring countless hardships— ridicule, chastisement, embarrassment— she never allowed life’s challenges to overpower her spirit. I saw Mum fight her biggest demon in life, cancer, and broke free from its evil vice and emerged as a survivor. Granted, she might not have a million subscribers, likes, gorgeous clothes and a lot of money, nothing can convince me otherwise: my Mum is indeed a brave heroine in my narrative, a figure etched indelibly in the pages of my life. She lived by her example: a testament in achieving success in life through fighting the hardest life’s battle fearlessly.
In comparison, I am quite the opposite. As difficult as it is to admit, I am nowhere close to where I want to be in this season of my life. Applying for a job as a high school teacher had been an uphill battle. My education background of attending an unaccredited missionary college with limited endorsement further compounds the difficulty. Despite the shortage of teachers in this nation, the job search process feels like facing a formidable Goliath in my path. I find myself having to compete against candidates with more experience, higher education, more compelling teaching philosophies, and so on… The repeated closing of doors on me had finally taken its toll.
I feel utterly defeated and useless as if I am constantly battling a tidal wave that submerges me every time I try to stand up. Everything that I experienced evokes a strong inclination in me to just give up. The struggle had become increasingly arduous, and with every passing moment, life had become increasingly meaningless and thus, determination to persevere became incredibly challenging.
Among all the Biblical characters, I find it hardest to connect to Solomon. This man embodied everything that I am not: the very definition of success. He seemed to possess everything in life that one could ever desire in life: immense riches, high social status, great power, and a thousand concubines at his disposal. Above all, He has wisdom and blessing from God. He was seen as God’s favorite, the apple of His eye. However, as he grew older, he misused and squandered the gifts from God for his own pride and pleasure.
Yet in the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon reflected upon the futility and emptiness of his wealth and possession as he proclaimed them to be “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity” (Eccl 1:2). Even though he had it all, these material things do not offer him the true meaning and fulfillment of life. Judging by the outward appearance, one might assume that a man like Solomon would have life all figured out, but he was experiencing a profound sense of being lost in his pursuit of life’s meaning.
Despite Solomon’s quest for meaning in life, he made many mistakes along the way. Yet God did not abandon him. Throughout his life, Solomon got to witness God's goodness in His provision in food, drink and work. (Eccl 2:24). He also recognized that God’s deeds endures forever (Eccl 3:14), signifying the eternal nature of His work. This book further illustrates a scenario where individuals may possess abundant riches and wealth (bestowed by God), yet they fail to recognize its source and hence do not fully enjoy the blessings they have been given.
“Everyone’s toil is for their mouth, yet their appetite is never satisfied. What advantage have the wise over fools? What do the poor gain by knowing how to conduct themselves before others? Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. This too is meaningless,a chasing after the wind.” (Eccl 6:7-9)
The pursuit of worldly possessions in life is likened to chasing the wind, which reflects a futile endeavor that leads to emptiness and a lack of true meaning in life. This verse reveals the insatiable nature of the human heart, a thirst for more that can never be quenched. As individuals, regardless of status, being in wealth or poverty, the desire to want more is undeniable. A significant example can be found in an eminent figure in history— Alexander the Great, the Grecian conqueror who plundered and conquered the then known world. Although he had successfully achieved what most could not in their entire lifetime, when he saw the breadth of his dominion, he found himself despondent, having nothing left to conquer. This is a poignant reminder that material possessions alone can never fully satisfy the deepest longing of the human heart.
Indeed, there is nothing new under the sun. This illustrates the idea that throughout history, human nature and tendencies have remained constant. If we allow our intentions to be unbridled, we can exhibit the same characteristics as Alexander the Great (Eccl 9:3). When men live solely with the goal of self satisfaction, as they reach the pinnacle of their lives, many may eventually ask themselves this question, “what’s next?”
“For who knows what is good for man in life, all the days of his vain life which he passes like a shadow? Who can tell a man what will happen after him under the sun?” (Eccl 6:12)
We must not judge the book by its cover. While Solomon appeared successful outwardly, he grappled with a deep sense of emptiness in his heart, a boundless void that only God can occupy. In the end, he acknowledged that God is the ultimate one who gives joy and meaning in life, and emphasized the importance of remembering and honoring Him (Eccl 12:1). The overarching lesson learned from Solomon’s journey of life is to fear God, and keep His commandments, for this is the way that leads to true fulfillment and wisdom in life. Alas, all his possessions (his “wings”) and all his attributes were blessing from God alone.
Although I am not where I want to be in life, I have come to understand that the true meaning of success is determined by God alone. While men judge by the outward appearance, God knows our heart. I firmly believe that in this wave of uncertainty in life that I am experiencing currently, He can transform every situation and make all things beautiful in His perfect timing. Even in moments when I have felt on the brink of giving up, questioning the meaning of life itself, this verse resonated within me: “For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion” (Eccl 9:4). As long as there is breath in me, there is hope. I choose to remain hopeful and trust in Him as I navigate through the challenges of life, no matter how difficult they may be. This is my new definition of success.
